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[13 Jan 2005|03:31am]
I think I've fallen for someone...
And Fallen for some hard I have..Of Course I'll never act on this, because I'm way to chicken shit..but wow...I haven't felt like this in such a long time.
Spill your soul

[24 Oct 2004|06:21am]
Im finally getting to see 'em after wanting to since 7th grade! Im gonna go fucking insane! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Im so fucking high on life, New Job, getting away from McDonalds, getting a 2003 mustang (red) its my cousins and she cant pay for it anymore, so im taking over payments ohhh yeahhhhhh and then Green Day tonight! w00t! getting my own apartment! Ohhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhh! Im so fucking hyper, its crazy
time for bed bed then in 5 and half hours ill be on my way to LOUISVILLE TO SEE GREEENNNNN DAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2 Screams| Spill your soul

[11 Sep 2004|06:10pm]
Do you know what the scariest feeling is?
knowing you're about to go deaf...hopefully not permenantly but for awhile due to infection in both your ears.....right now my left ear is holding on for dear mercy until it closes and swells....I have meds...ive been taking meds...I have no health insurance and its the weekend...Ive called in 3 times...I might get fired then that means no income until I find another job...
Im alone in this house and another scary thing is...not being able to hear a thing and not know whats going on around you....
Ive had a panic attack...ive tried to sleep so I can calm down, but I keep talking to myself to make sure I can still hear myself...its driving me nuts and killing my nerves....I had to come here to keep my mind at ease until I can get ahold of someone...anyone...

ow...I can feel the swelling coming on....
5 Screams| Spill your soul

[10 Sep 2004|11:54pm]
Okk another attempt.
as of late where has Crystal been?
A) at work
B) asleep
C) as of very late as in the last week In bed with a swollen right face, not able to move or consider doing anything couldnt talk, eat, or sit up due to a extremely bad ear infection.

the answer all the above. One of these days I'm going to get my days straight and get my life straightened out, but after spending well over 400 dollars on doctor visits and medication, I now need to start re-thinking my whole work thing here about now and see about getting some sort of health insurance and GETTING MY LIFE BACK
Spill your soul

[12 Aug 2004|08:32pm]
funny how life makes no sense
funny how it seems like life isnt even worth living, because of everything you go through...you go through so much to get one a small bit of happiness.

I've got so many questions that have been left unanswered...so much I need to be thinking about, and I don't even have the guts to think about them...

life is just so confusing right now...and I've been really down lately..

is there anything out there....for me?
Spill your soul

[04 Aug 2004|09:18pm]
New computer for Crystal! woo!

all I've done is work work and work..
Ive been broke too, but then again I just bought a computer so what do you expect? lol I work at McDonalds...so yeah that should explain it all lol.

Man...What really sucks is Ive basically blown my entire summer away...soon Tonya and Heather are both going to be going back to college and I'll be here alone again..and this time Hiedi and Lynns are going to College and I'll basically have no friends what so ever here lol thats gonna be a bitch..I dunno I'm going to try and get my act together, and actually get a good job and move out. I need to go someone...I was thinking about even just living in a small town in like..north carolina...like around the beach or something..just be sucluded(sp?) but then again I dunno if I could take being alone for very long.

Anyone commin' with me?!?! ha..thats what I thought lol.

Spill your soul

[19 Jul 2004|10:42pm]
Whoops so I've sort of neglected my LJ for far to long!
actually I'm just really bored and Im searching for an image to base a tattoo I want on.
ALSO I want one of theseCollapse )
2 Screams| Spill your soul

That light just fades [10 Jun 2004|11:56pm]
Man, I dont know whats going on anymore..
My life lately has been up and down and up and down again and again..its like im on a carousel running in circles things going up and down. BAH!

Ive been thinking alot lately, yes Crystal has been thinking, and Im beginning to think I need to become a better person. Be more helpful, more understanding, and listen more. I think I need to help people out more...let people know I do care..I also don't want to have any enemies..I mean I don't have enemies now or at least I dont consider anyone my enemy even if they consider me theirs, I don't want to think down on people, I want to have some hope in people..even if they drive me insane, or aren't the most interesting person in the world. Who Knows maybe they just need someone ?

bah im just rambling I suppose...
3 Screams| Spill your soul

I love this song... [10 Jun 2004|10:50pm]
"Float On" by Modest Mouse

I backed my car into a cop car the other day
Well he just drove off sometimes life's ok
I ran my mouth off a bit too much oh what can i say
Well you just laughed it off it was all ok

And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on any way well

Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with that scam
It was worth it just to learn from sleight-of-hand
Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans
We both got fired on the exactly the same day
Well we'll float on good news is on the way

And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Now don't worry we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Alright don't worry we'll all float on

And we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Aliright don't worry even if things end up a bit to heavy
We'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Ok don't worry we'll all float on
Even if things get heavy we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Don't you worry we'll all float on
All float on

great song, from a great artist, from a great new album. I suggest you guys go buy "Good news for people who love bad news" by Modest Mouse OR download this song lol

it gives me some hope I guess
Spill your soul

sleeeppppppppppp must get sleeeepppp [08 Jun 2004|12:35am]
My summer has SUCKED!
or at least thus far it has...
Spill your soul

I ran my mouth off a bit too much, oh what did I say? well you just laughed it off, it was all OK [02 Jun 2004|11:27pm]
Breif update:

Bad storms
Tornado over the house
neighbors house damaged
Trampolean across the street bent
Been in Grandmas basement for long periods all week/weekend
almost died
Scared to death
Danny in jail
He's looking at 1 to 5 years
New speakers in car
New Modest Mouse cd
Need to install Sony cd player in car
Must take off work to visit detention center saturday
Danny scared hugging me apologizing
me finally realizing he's an amazing friend/brother
and he really cares
tons of work
work overload
2 days off wasted
2 days down and depressed by everything going on

yep so thats about it in a nut shell i'll explain more later.
Spill your soul

Bored [24 May 2004|01:31am]


From Go-Quiz.com
Spill your soul

my heart is crushed to cinders underneath this kind of pain [20 May 2004|11:13pm]
I feel like shit right now...
so many things going through my mind. I hate feeling like this, and I try so damn hard to not think about stuff, or even let stuff get to me, but it just gets to a point where it all gets to you at one point.

what the fuck am I doing?
Where am I going?
Who cares?
Who doesn't?
Why dream when it isn't possible?
Who's coming with me?
Who's going to leave?

ah just so many question and thoughts going through my mind all at once. I shouldn't even be saying anything like this on here. No point really, right?
4 Screams| Spill your soul

UPDATE! FINALLY! [10 May 2004|12:50am]
Oops! so yeah I haven't exactly updated my journal in awhile. I've just been extremely busy and/or exhausted from work. I'm back on Fulltime and well they're working me to death (sort of) Plus Family has been down, and I've been going out to Rough River on our Pontune boat and swimming which is fun as fuck. I'm so ready for Summer! I want my friends home! It'll be a great day when they're all home and we can hang out again! I wanna go somewheres this summer..Me and Tonya have talked about going to North(or South she hasn't decided yet) Carolina to visit her friend who lives there, and then to Nashville, TN..I don't care where I go! I just wanna go somewhere away from here, but not to far, due to well I don't know really.
Anyways, I'm not looking forward to going to work tomorrow..I work yet another 8 hour shift (11am to 7pm) I hate that shift, it's the worst hours..and basically you've completely wasted your day working. Blah! I hate that place, I really need to get another job that pays more, and is half decent. I really should be going to bed about now, but I'm not tired yet...I want someone to talk to! TALK TO ME DAMNIT!
Viciouslydivine is online, but away, and that sucks..I really wanted to talk to her tonight, but then again she's probably asleep LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE!
1 Scream| Spill your soul

New layout: The Punisher [24 Apr 2004|11:33pm]
Decided to fix my journal again. I decided to go with The Punisher because the movie just came out, and it's a really great movie at that. I love The Punisher too lol
you should check it out
Spill your soul

AH HA! You really are a HUGE Flamingo! [21 Apr 2004|10:15pm]
Wow so I havent updated in awhile, but I havent exactly had anything remotely interesting to say or talk about. Neither do I now, but I just thought I'd update anyways..

Weird thing happened today. At work I was selected out of like 50 employees to train employees in Morgantown McDonalds. Me and Cheryl (the manager selected) are going tomorrow morning. I'm kind of excited really..I guess because of the experience of being in a new store and working with different people, and seeing people NOT from grayson county, but then again Morgantown is like similar size right? who knows. They Also have Chicken dippers lol Yeah I'm excited to try them because Ive heard they're ubber yummy (i just said ubber? haha)

I picked up 2 cds this week, and I must say they both are good, and one actually surprised the hell out of me.
1st cd bought was "In the name of Progress" by Fingertight. I had heard only one song "Guilty (hold down)" and I thought it was a pretty good song, a kind of song that gave me chills when I listened to it, and It really is a great cd.
2nd cd bought was "Underneath" by Hanson..Yes I said Hanson. If you didn't know meback in Middle school, I used to be a HUGE Fan of Hanson when I was a big teenybopper! They have grown up, and I was curious as to what they sounded like now that they're all grown up. We'll the biggest surprise was Zac (now 18 almost 19) has a AMAZING voice, he's going for this Lounge singer type sound. It's really cool actually. I know its hard for people to actually take me seriously or take them seriously because of what they previously sounded. I think now I'm impressed by their music, and not just obsessed with their looks. NO Not every song on their cd is great, but their are about 5 or 6 out of 13 (1 hidden track) cd. That's decently pretty good.

So now that I did reviews over the cds ive bought (Im weird like that) I think you should check both the cds out even if it means embarrassing yourself at your local music store by buying the "latest Hanson cd" hehe.
Spill your soul

bored [09 Apr 2004|12:44am]
1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says: Mike seemed to debate the question as he scratched his chin absently.
2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?: My stereo
3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?: Jay Leno
4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is: 1:00am
5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?: 12:47am
6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? Finger Eleven
7: When did you last step outside? what were you doing?: about an hour ago to smoke
8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?: Xoprh.com
9: What are you wearing?: Black Caustic shirt, black pants, underwear and a bra lol
10: Did you dream last night? yeah
11: When did you last laugh? about 2 or 3 hours ago watching the Family Guy
12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?: my painting of Johnny the homicidal maniac
13: Seen anything weird lately?: yeah, a 73 year old guy on in oxygen tank murder a pharmaist...well i didnt see it but i heard about it
14: What do you think of this quiz?: eh its ok...kinda neat i guess?
15: What is the last film you saw?: High Fedelity
16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?: a House
17: Tell me something about you that I don't know: I like the song "Rubberband man" by T.I.
18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?:Make Same sex marriages Legal and Fine with all the benefits opposite sexs have when they're married lol
19: Do you like to dance?: sometimes
20: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?:uhhhh...lol Adia Adrian
21: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?: Draven Landon
22: Would you ever consider living abroad?: yes
23: Will you pass on this survey?: ummm no idea?
Spill your soul

[06 Apr 2004|06:52pm]
I'm gonna get this tattooed on me somewhere..im not sure of where yet, but I will have this permanently inked on my body:

Damnant quod non intelligunt

they condemn what they don't understand

its latin
Spill your soul

blah [03 Apr 2004|11:37pm]
So, this week has sucked ass..
I've had the flu..coughing, sneezing, stuffy nose, stomach ache, body aches, throwing up, the whole nine yards. I also worked long busy hours with the flu. The managers at work can be a little harsh when it comes to being sick..or at least I see it as that. They see me coughing my lungs out FIXING FOOD! I mean...seriously Would you want to eat a hamburger that a person with the flu had fixed? no I think not...but I had no choice, and just got through it the best I could. Rose about drove me crazy today, her constant yelling and screaming to go faster and do this and that when you only have 2 hands and have no other time to do anything, but what you've been doing. Also I got screamed at Friday on Drive-thru, because 2 cars in a row wouldnt pull up and were in our drive-thru lane for like 2 minutes one with 8 double cheese burgers and other stuff (yes we get orders like that and have to get them out within like 15 to 35 seconds) she kept going on and on and on about how she needed this (side of tarter, side of mac sauce, honey mustard, etc) and would not shut up. and then the car right after had gotten the wrong food and Brian our big manager comes over and jumps all over me for it, and I did nothing wrong. I have no control over the customers if they dont wanna pull I cant make them pull and if someone else fucked up their order I'm trying to fix it the best I can, but it's still not my fault. So that got to me, put me in a bad mood. Tomorrow I work an 8 hour shift..I just hope the flu has sort of gone away so I'm not so miserable. Monday and Tuesday I'm off THANK THE FUCKING LORD! but yeah...inbetween, work, and sleeping to get over the flu i've been miserable and completely alone for some reason. Today, after work, I rented two movies (Mona Lisa Smile, and High Fidelity) and got some food stayed in the rest of the day alone and did nothing. Now I'm still up after taking some medicene for my cough, still alone and bored. But yeah! that's whats been going on, not that anyone cares or reads this in the first place, but this is a sorry excuse for an update lol oh well. sorry for wasting your time if you do read this! :)

call me or something if you dont know my number ask me I may give it to you.
1 Scream| Spill your soul

we all know, only the strong survive [31 Mar 2004|11:09pm]
Not sure why I'm writing here..Don't really have much to say. Nothing is new..Work is about it. I've been a bit down lately, not sure exactly why, don't have a reason to be sad, or down..

Been listening to Flaw lately, and I've found I really really like them. I mean Yeah I liked them before, but they're really coming back to me again I guess, and about to release a new album soon. I believe they're also going to be in Louisville soon. Wouldn't mind seeing them.

well I work the rest of the week. I get paid Friday, i'm about broke now, but I have to pay bills with this check, so i'll probably be broke again.

I've been having writers block or something..I've been meaning to start writing songs again, because the thought of a band still lingers...that's a dream I wish I could make come true.
Spill your soul

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